I enjoy flying, the thrill of the take off, the frantic ‘breaking’ as the plane touches down and it feels like you’ll never stop…the amazing views and even the airline food. Flying is not everyone’s cup of tea though, and the whole experience can be daunting for some people at the best of times without other people making the journey even worse, so here are my top ten most annoying airline passengers I’ve come across…

• Seat kickers
There’s nothing more irritating than having someone (usually a restless child) sitting in the seat behind and constantly kicking the seat, even people standing up and grabbing on to it for balance is enough to send your G&T flying or wake you from your restful slumber.

• Talkative neighbours
Just as you settle back to enjoy the flight, headphones on, music channel selected, the ‘stranger’ next to you feels compelled to tell you their life history, the only polite escape is to hope they go to the toilet and feign sleep on their return.

• Smelly passengers
At least on a bus you can get off at the next stop if you have to, but at 32,000 ft you are trapped! There’s no escape! Sufferers of bad breath or BO have to be two of the worst people you could possibly find yourself sitting next to, the only solution, buy some duty free perfume and spray it liberally around the cabin.

• Armrest bullies
Who makes the rules as to who has power over the middle armrest? The cause of many an argument and elbow fight with people you know, but with strangers! How annoying when they take control, making you feel squashed and inadequate in your own seat! Again hope they go to the toilet and refuse to move your arm when they come back!

• Sneezers
Having to sit next to someone who is sniffling and coughing all over the place is my idea of hell. You board the flight after a wonderful holiday, feeling relaxed and healthy, only to be faced with an onslaught of snot flying at you at 100 miles an hour for the entire journey, you at least have triple pneumonia by the time you arrive home.

• Pungent picnicers
As I have said, I enjoy my flight meals and the smell of them wafting through the plane usually makes my mouth water in anticipation, however, what if you are sitting next to one of those frugal travellers who bring their own picnic on board? Cheese and onion crisps I can just about handle but egg sandwiches should be banned…!

• Drunks
Most airlines are very strict on not allowing passengers who have consumed too much alcohol to fly, but what about those who slip through the net or get drunk whilst onboard? There’s nothing more annoying than being with a drunk, especially when you are sober, they are loud, obnoxious and irritating, especially if there is more than one of them! You can only hope and pray they drink themselves into a very long, deep sleep.

• Unruly children
In fairness it is not always the unruly child that is the problem, rather the indifferent adult accompanying them. Flights can be long and boring for small children and keeping them amused is not always easy (I know, I have three of my own) but parents who blatantly ignore or do nothing to try to amuse their children are simply disrespectful and ignorant.

• Rude passengers
I hate the people who board a flight and expect the cabin crew to be at their every beck and call. Cabin crew have very specific jobs and a very limited timescale to fit them all into (especially on short flights) so someone screaming at them to bring more drinks etc is totally disrespectful. Put yourself in their shoes, you wouldn’t like it done to you, so don’t do it to them!

• Overhead locker hoggers
You’re on the plane nice and early, you’ve found your seats and placed your hand luggage in the overhead compartment directly above you, only to find your neighbour comes along, shoves your bags to one side and squashes his overfull rucksack on top of them, the worst thing is, its too high and heavy to move (especially for smaller people) to get to your own bag later. I bet he’s going to hog the armrest too…!

I could go on even more, but at risk of sounding like a grumpy old woman, I’ll stop there. I’m sure you have more of your own gripes you could add to this list too, but despite the smells, the noise, the rudeness and the germs, often the only way to enjoy foreign and luxury holidays is to trap yourself into a metal tunnel, lock the doors, and dangle precariously at 32,000 feet with a whole bunch of germ ridden, smelly strangers for a few hours, so I suppose I’ll do it all again next year. Either that or I’ll be on that plane first, tie my arms to both seat rests, put on a surgical mask, a ‘do not disturb’ sign, insert earplugs and settle back to enjoy a peaceful flight!