British Embassies all over the world are becoming increasingly frustrated at travellers phoning them with irrelevant, ridiculous and just plain silly questions that they cannot possibly help them with. Embassies are there to help Brits abroad who have real difficulties and need help in a foreign country, so we’ve compiled a list of the top ten silly things embassies get asked

• What will the weather be like when I go away?
(Consular staff are not there to deal with weather reports…that is what the TV weather stations are for…)

• How can I deal with unruly children?
(That is what parents are for…)

• A woman who had travelled abroad for a breast enlargement operation, called to complain that she was not happy with the size of them!
(Did she expect the Consular staff to reduce them again for her…?)

• One mother called to ask if the staff in Florida could help her son pack and take him to the airport as he was feeling a little unwell
(I bet she still cuts his crusts off too…)

• A confused cook called to ask what ratio of fruit to sugar she should use when making Jam!
(Was she baking them especially for the Embassy staff…?)

• Another called to ask where they could buy a specific pair of shoes
(Perhaps ‘personal shopper’ should be added to the Embassy staff’s job description!)

• One man called to ask exactly who would be allowed to use his swimming pool on holiday
(Add swimming pool police to that description too…)

• Consular staff cannot help you locate lost sunglasses either
(Their radar vision does not travel that far…!)

• A traveller to Zambia wanted the high commission there to call work for him to tell them he had missed his flight
(Surely it was just as quick to call work himself…)

• And finally, Embassies cannot advise you on currency exchange rates
(Unfortunately that involves you making a couple of phone calls yourself, checking out the internet, or popping into your local travel agent… get off your butt…!)

British Embassies help over 35,000 British nationals with real emergencies every year, so perhaps think twice before making that call, do you really need them? Imagine not being able to get through when you are stranded abroad in a real life or death situation, because some silly fool has decided to ring them to ask how deep the sea is in Majorca…